Warning! tantrum ensuing:

I got a little shock Saturday. My friend Mina told me she bought shares in my blog. I didn't even know it was listed! So, I immediately went to Blogshares to stake my claim (and see how it got on there, because I wasn't sure how it worked). Well, to stake your claim, you must post a piece of code on your site for verification. Unfortunately, when I tried to add it, I discovered all my templates were missing. I like Blogger, I love the concept of a free voice for everyone, but the service is rather iffy. So I had to wait until my templates reappeared to post & stake my claim (ignore the post date, it is now actually 5/27/03 01:25am EST). It added salt to the wound when Seyed from Blogshares sent me an email bugging me about it. My only consolation was that I got to pass the surprise on to James when I told him I bought his second blog, which he didn't know was listed. So, Seyed, here is the stinking badge. Next question, do I have to leave it up?



Please excuse me if I seem a little crabby; I have a bad cold, which made me lose 6 hours of overtime because I kept having coughing fits (I have to talk on the phone all day at my job) and then I had to help Pookie (my bro) work on my car's brakes. I am doing shots of Robitussin with an OJ chaser which tastes horrible, but I have to be cured tomorrow so I don't miss any more work. Wish me luck, or at least hope I don't overdose. I'm going to bed.

PS- I know this post is about me, but I have to put the badge on my main page. So shut up already.

I was catching up on my favorite blogs this morning, and headlessness linked me to First Ladies, a collection painted by Tina Mion. It is an interesting and beautifully rendered series, but one picture in particular Stop Action Reaction, a painting of Jacqueline Kennedy, truly affected me.

In the portrait, she is shown holding a king of hearts playing card that has just been shredded by a bullet. (Ok, I just need to take a minute to pick at one detail - the bullet is shown with the casing still attached, which is inaccurate. The casing holds the charge for firing, and only the tip is propelled forward out of the gun. The casing is either ejected to the side or remains inside, depending on the type of firearm. I understand she rendered it this way to let people know what it is, but it was the one detraction for me in the impact of the painting.)

Uh... sorry about that. What struck me the most about it (No, the bullet was secondmost; you are probably wishing it did strike me first by now.) was the pink Chanel suit with the pillbox hat. John F. Kennedy was assassinated two years before I was born, but the 26-second Zapruder film has been shown so much that I knew the dress. That suit is instantly recognised by an entire generation as the one Jackie was wearing when her husband was shot. I imagined her admiring it in a mirror while being fitted for it; feeling a happy little pleasure while trying on the hat. I think she probably ended up despising that dress after having been forced to wear it for several hours stained with her husband's blood; being informed of his death in it, having to witness Johnson being sworn in as the new president in it, and still wearing it while accompaning her husband's body home. That would have put me on the brink of madness.

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis died May 20, 1994. On Tuesday, while I am selling clothing to women who will be admiring themselves in the mirror and feeling a happy little pleasure from it, in the back of my mind I will be thinking about Jacqueline and hoping that she was able to transcend beyond the stigma of that damned dress.

Hello, peoples! I have been missing because I had to re-enter the corporate world (started yesterday) and I am preparing to move back to the city.

Enough about the mundane.

I collected (read it, heard it from a teacher, who knows?) this thought about writing long ago: write what you know. But I have come to the conclusion that I know about too many things for that advice to be practical for me - there would be no focus. So, I have foundered for a while, trying to define the reason for this blog, besides using it to solicit jobs. Tonight, I think I figured something out.

I did something I have not done in a long time. I just kicked back. It was amazingly lovely (if you say hyperbole, you don't know what it felt like to me). I was sitting in this kitchen, in my old neighborhood, and talking with a woman that I thought I didn't have anything in common with. She was peeling potatoes, and frying them up for her brother, son, and boyfriend. Being the only woman in the house, it was just expected that the chore of cooking fell to her. I cast an eye at old cabinets and cracked linoleum, remembering what it was like to live in the 'hood, and what I have been running from.

I watched her struggle to fry these potatoes in an old, worn skillet that was missing a handle. She had folded a rag to use to hold the pan, and it kept catching fire. I knew from experience that if you wet the rag a bit it decreases the heat insulation properties some, but won't catch fire as easy; but you don't correct another woman in her own kitchen, y'know? So I watched her struggle, and remarked 'it's so hard to find a pan that cooks well'. It was an honest comment, not meant to be sarcastic. She turned to me and smiled that knowing smile of a woman who recognized a kindred soul, and laughed and said 'yeah'. In that moment, I connected with every woman who ever carried around a favorite cooking pot.

I suddenly realized how incredibly spoiled I have become.

I haven't found the meaning of life, but I know it's not about me. And I doubt it is in one's physical possessions. It is maybe somewhere in the things you take with you at the end of a day; the lessons, insights, and experiences that make you grow. That's what I think I should blog about. If for no other reason, than to remind myself when needed.

Tomorrow after work, I'm loading my car with all the kitchen items I was going to put in a yard sale, and donate them to the thrift store in my old neighborhood. My sister in law will think I'm crazy just giving everything away (especially since I need to be cautious with my money right now), but I think it will better benefit me spiritually.

I read from the Tao Te Ching during lunch - blame that if you must.

PS- I still want the talking picture program below. It is just too cool.

I want to know what the program is, and if I can get it.
It inspired several plans for mischief and mayhem.
I must have it. Muahhahahaha!

WARNING: Requires installation of a media player. (Thanks Uncle Jerry for the link!)

A personal message from Bitty Kitty

This will only be available for 14 days, so hurry over to view it now.

Bud Light did not create, and is not responsible for, the content of this message.

Damn skippy on that.

Testing

I did get the mouseover code in correct, but now I need to figure out how to move the pics in the header to be in line with the title. Unfortunately, it is 1:30am Ohio time, and my little country butt is tired! I will mess with it when I get up. If you have any suggestions how to do it, I would appreciate a comment. For now, I'm off to dream about writing code.